Oh, how you'd have a happy life if you did the things you like...

07 OCT 2004 - 3.53p
Dear guy that interviewed me a couple of months ago,

I know you still read my blog. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that... but I'd rather you didn't read it unless you had a job for me. I know that I'd be an asset to Panther II... in fact, I'd be an asset to any company that didn't require me to wear a nametag in case you hear of any other open positions elsewhere.

I thought you seemed like a cool guy during the interview. I mean that sincerely... I have no reason to lie about it since you didn't even hire me. And obviously you thought I was pretty interesting, too, or else you still wouldn't be reading.

So, what do you say? I'll come out of blog retirement and you can read all you want if you find a job for me. Fair trade? I'll even throw in a GBV mix cd!

Sincerely,
Meghan O'Malley

28 SEP 2004 - 8.26a
September will mark the end of my blog. I hope you've enjoyed it... I'm going to pull the shades and perhaps keep it alive just to document the final few GBV shows, since it's not like I'll write about those in a personal journal. I don't have a personal journal.

I think I'm just ready to move on. It's been almost three years. It just seems like a good time to end.

Who knows, I'll probably miss it... I bet in another month or two, I'll jump on the cool kid bandwagon and get a livejournal. Lame.

Thanks for reading.

23 SEP 2004 - 7.43a
The last couple of days have been cool, I guess. I spent my two days off doing just what I normally would... and now it's two more miserable days of selling watches and praying I don't get held up at gunpoint until my big weekend off. That's right... a whole weekend off right after I had two days in a row off. I hope they're trying to get rid of me.

I went down to New Philly and hung out with Phil on Tuesday night. We watched the Big Lebowski. You'll have to ask him, but I might have laughed once or twice. I don't remember exactly what I laughed at, though. After the movie, we hung out on the porch. I think we were supposed to be having some kind of serious talk about waiting a month until he's a good boyfriend (not that he'd make a bad boyfriend now) because his life is kind of crazy right now. But the talk wasn't really all that necessary. I'm willing to keep things low key for another month... not hard to agree to at all.

I was SO BORED last night. Paul was on a date (for real) and Lacey doesn't answer her phone. Phil was out with his friend... so I went to Barnes & Noble. I usually don't like to make purchases at the B&N Starbucks... but oh god, my beverage was an A+++ last night. I came home and Phil had returned... we ended up talking for a long time and I scanned a bunch of high school pictures to message to him in order to prove that he would have been all over me in high school. For your enjoyment, I present me with bangs. I also would like to share this one... I'm sure someone is going to kill me for putting this up, but I just HAD to. It's my favorite.

I have to send David a check before I forget!!

21 SEP 2004 - 7.34a
I love my friends. However, they should not have let me stay out until four this morning. And they should not have fed me so late, either... I feel most uncomfortable and sloshy in the tum right now. It's okay... I'm going back to bed after I finish the feeding of the horses.

I love days off. And I love that I have a weekend off, too. What did I do to deserve this? I feel like I've gone to heaven.

I'm keeping fingers tightly crossed that I see Phil today.

20 SEP 2004 - 7.56a
I thought I'd work my shitty job until the October GBV madness was complete. It's nice having the flexibility of a retail schedule, especially with requesting days off and stuff. However, something happened yesterday which doesn't exactly make me feel terribly safe or comfortable working there. Sucks, it's easy money. I have tomorrow and the next day off, and I plan using the two days to send off a gazillion resumes. Enough fucking around already... I'm way too good for this shit, yo.

No time to rehash the details of the weekend... possibly later!

17 SEP 2004 - 5.52p
Yeah.

16 SEP 2004 - 7.37a
I've had an awesome time with Phil the last two nights. On Tuesday, we escorted Lacey and her burned feet to a show... and last night was baseball. Our seats were awesome, the game was great... I'd totally love to see another game with Phil.

After the game, we had an interesting experience when we spotted (and subsequently were spotted by) the ex. Phil has never even seen so much as a picture of him, and he could tell by the look of horror on my face and the way that the ex looked at us that it was him. I think I just looked at Phil... and he was already asking me if I was okay. So bizarre.

Went to Paul's afterwards. I drank. We hung out and talked and then Courtney showed up. It was cool to see her. She had to study for logic. Unfortunately for her, she doesn't have Dick Fox. That just can't be any fun at all.

I don't really have any weekend plans... someone make some with me.

14 SEP 2004 - 7.58a
After I heard the news that someone I know that isn't too much older than myself developed pretty serious cancer, I've been concerned that possibly every ache or pain I have could potentially be cancer, too. My right arm started aching yesterday... and this morning, I keep having visible muscle spasms right where it aches. Could it be cancer?

You know, if I didn't have anything to say to you in high school, it's probably because I wasn't your friend and I had absolutely no idea who you were. If you started acting like I knew you in high school many years after the fact (when in reality, I had no idea who you were and had to ask my friends each and every time you said something to me), of course I'm going to think you're a little... off. Or something. If you'd really like to carry on with your life, thinking we had some kind of relationship, go ahead... I've dealt with crazier things. I'll carry on knowing I still have no idea who you were.

Out with my boys Paulie and Dale last night. Just a couple of drinks and free cigarettes but it was still good to hang out with them. Got a nice email from Phil when I got home... so hopefully I'll see him tonight.

I know I'm not exactly tight with anybody associated with the It-men these days... but I know there's some show going on this Thursday at the Beachland Ballroom for their cd release. I will not be attending, even though they're pretty rockin'... just because I'd really rather not have to deal with the drama. But... I'd still like to wish the band well, since I think they rock, and I'd just like to encourage people to attend if they have no fears that a scene would be caused just by their mere presence at the show.

I might go to the show next door at the Tavern, though.

13 SEP 2004 - 7.39a
Yesterday was such a huge improvement over Saturday. Work was fine... I worked with the new girl and had a lengthy discussion with her about dating guys with kids. She's the same age as me and is married to a man with a son. It was interesting getting her take on the whole thing... I don't think my relationship with Phil is serious enough yet to have to worry about the things that this girl had to worry about... obviously I'm not becoming anybody's stepmom anytime soon. I do think I'm already a lot more comfortable with the idea than she initially was when she first met her husband.

So... I did get my brown low top chucks yesterday! I went and they were the ONLY pair the store had been sent... and oddly enough, they were in MY SIZE. Well, actually, they were a half a size bigger than what I usually wear... but supposedly the store never sells half sizes, anyway. I tried them on and they weren't swimming on my little feet, so I bought them. MUCHO GRACIAS to Lacey for the hot tip. I'm a happy camper.

I also had two watch batteries replaced while I was on break. One was in my old silver watch... the other was in one of my Swatches (Cowboy, in case you were interested in which Swatch). It'll be nice to tell time again.

AND another highlight of my workday yesterday... Cool Dave delivered my Starbucks drink to my work counter. That was truly the shit. He's the best.

Indians game with Phil on Wednesday. I'm really looking forward to that... not even because of the baseball, just because I'm sure by then it will have been a few days since we've seen each other. I'm so happy with him... and the way the relationship is going. I keep thinking that this is the way it's supposed to be. It's cool... I dig it.

I have today off... not sure what I'm going to do with myself outside of the horses...

12 SEP 2004 - 10.31a
Good weekend, bad mood. Friday night was outstanding... barhopping in Dover with Phil and friends. Met Kris and Kristen... I loved them. I'm hoping they decide to go to GBV in Detroit with us because I liked hanging out with them so much. Phil knew I would, though. Our drunken escapades led to a very interesting (for lack of a better word) sleeping arrangement. There was a very serious early morning conversation... one of those mushy things that I'd dare not discuss with just anybody... but I had a moment with Phil (though I'm sure he doesn't know this) that gave me chills. Not bad chills. Just chills... looking in someone's eyes, having them open up to you and be completely honest... it's probably too personal to talk about here. But I had chills.

Yesterday at work was SO rotten that I'm just going to avoid talking about it completely. I'm going to buy myself a new pair of shoes (rumor has it there are brown low top chuck taylors out there...) because I'm still feeling all grouchy and down about yesterday. Shoes will cheer me up. I had lunch with Dale which was nice... definite high point of my work day.

I have to get ready for work now. I'm wiping the tears out of my eyes.

10 SEP 2004 - 7.48a
Why is the wee-end just beginning but I feel like today is Monday? How effed is that? I'm blaming it all on my job.

I've decided that pretty much everybody I've met from New Philadelphia has had a DUI. What's up with that? When I'm the mayor of down there (which will be easy because I have a college degree), I'm going to fire the assholes that keep handing out DUIs like they're Halloween candy. Oh, and by the mayor of "down there", I don't mean anything pervy... I just mean the Dover/New Philly area which is the opposite from things "up here."

I get to see my man tonight. That so rules.

09 SEP 2004 - 4.15p
SOOOOO... I spent the night in New Philly. Hanging out with Phil is a riot... it really doesn't matter where we are or who we're with. We went to a couple of bars and then to the local Denny's (as much as I wanted to eat at the truck stop, it was closed!) for a bite. Back to Phil's and we crashed.

I met some more of his friends last night when he took me around town to show me off... it's so refreshing how nice his peeps are and stuff. I also got met his mom, who was also quite nice and chatty... again, it was refreshing. Phil showed me his legendary Prom King photos... hot stuff, indeed.

So... yes. I am smitten. I think last night was probably the most groundbreaking night so far. He seems that much more real to me. I'm pretty sure I'll be comfortable with removing the "future" from his title as "future boyfriend" relatively soon.

Today is my second day off of work in a row. I didn't get sicker as I predicted, but I'm still not feeling tip top. I started a new scarf yesterday and I'm making excpetional progress on it. I'm pretty excited about it. Yay, scarves.

07 SEP 2004 - 7.41a
I'm feeling a little better... mornings are the most difficult because I can't swallow. Luckily I have some antibiotic left over from when I had the West Nile Virus, so I might take that because DayQuil isn't doing it for me anymore.

Paul's Sunday party was a good time... it was a small, intimate gathering of most of the usual people that hang out there, anyway. But still a good time nonetheless. Everybody seemed to really like Phil... and Phil really liked everybody and got over his nerves fairly easily. I knew things would be just fine. Phil is cool.

Today is my sixth day of work in a row. I'm thinking of ducking out at two instead of staying until six... hopefully somebody is opening with me so I can make my dream a reality.

I found out that an old friend that used to be in a band with Ed is very, very sick with cancer. He was diagnosed in February and has really been quite ill since then. Nicest guy in the world, tried to warn me multiple times about the ex but I wouldn't listen. I guess there was a benefit show for him a while ago... had I known, I most definitely would have gone. Best healing wishes to him and stuff like that.

After today, I have the next two glorious days completely off. Lots to do, of course... and seeing Phil to look forward to. Sigh.

05 SEP 2004 - 7.48a
I'm sick. Not really... more like a cold or something yucky is brewing. Last night I had to pass on going with Phil to a function with his friends. I'm disappointed that I couldn't go... but I can't tell you how much of a relief it is that I can say, "I'm not feeling well... I'm sorry, but I'm going to stay home," and not have him flip the fuck out. That's the type of thing that would have previously been grounds for accusations of lying, cheating, etc. I shouldn't be shocked or surprised about this, mainly because Phil is a really nice guy... it's just so weird how brainwashed I was.

I slept a lot last night after I got home from work. Woke up at 8 and I hadn't even seen Newt yet... so I paid a late night visit to him, came home, and then slept some more. Maybe I'm sick from wearing myself so thin... sleeping is so nice.

Tonight is Paul's party. I'm hoping I feel okay enough when I'm done with work to maybe make it there. If not, I'll most likely have a quiet evening with Phil.

All of my tickets came... the last of the GBV tickets and the Pixies tickets. I have no more tickets to buy in advance for the rest of the year (as far as I know). I have been thinking about going to the Yo La Tengo show at the Grog Shop, which I definitely would have to buy a ticket for in advance... but my track record at Yo La shows isn't the best, so I might just pass. We'll see.

02 SEP 2004 - 11.37p
I'm not exactly sure what was groundbreaking last night... there were several moments which could have been interpreted as such. Phil scored a whole bunch of new nicknames from Lacey and Ezra... and everybody got along famously. It was a great night. I'm really happy.

I hate work. Today I was looking at my schedule on one of the work computers to see if I could switch with one of the women I work with... and oddly enough, the schedule differed quite a bit from the copy I printed out last week. All of next week was blank. Sunday through Saturday... but the week after that was filled in like normal. Shit, if it's like that tomorrow, I'm just not going to go in next week and if they complain about it, I'll just be all, "I'm only doing what my schedule says... and it says I have a whole week off." I'm so printing it out again tomorrow on my lunch.

Tomorrow night I'm possibly going out (in Canton of all places!) with Phil and some of his former coworkers. Our Saturday plans were slightly altered. Actually, they were cancelled... but we'll figure something out regardless. Sunday is Paul's party. And I was scheduled to work nine hours on labor day, although my current schedule has me for zero. Rock.

Had a nice talk on the phone tonight with Phil. I mean, our talks are always nice... but he had his almost three-year old son tonight and it was the first time I actually heard him in the background and stuff. He made Phil play "the robot song" which is actually "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys. That cracked me up. Cute, cute, cute.

I'm super sleepy tired, so I think I shall retire to bed for the evening. YAWN.

01 SEP 2004 - 7.31a
Welcome, September. Phil has a feeling that something groundbreaking is going to happen tonight... and I think he means that in a good way. How exciting for me that it corresponds with the first day of a month that I actually happen to enjoy.

He couldn't put his finger on exactly what would be so groundbreaking... we're most likely going to Kent to hang out with Lacey and Ezra tonight. Maybe I'll have a boy with me that doesn't act completely mental at a Kent bar... now that would be pretty groundbreaking. Or perhaps he'll propose to me! Even though he is only my future boyfriend, it probably isn't too early... when I suggested this to him last night, he did say that we're both 26 and we're certainly not getting any younger. Ain't that the truth!

I went shopping with Lacey yesterday and we each bought a pair of jeans that we probably didn't need... but they were so cheap! We also bought some new undies... pretty much all the same colors and patterns. How queer are we?

Newtie's chiropractor is coming out to adjust him today. I don't know if he needs it but he's getting it done regardless. Poor horse has had a shitty couple of months... might as well make sure his back feels okay now that I think we've got the feets and legs under control.